I have been known to use the word “socially” in the title of essays and posts. Some people like this word better than “self”… which is also a word that is common in the vernacular. This is because most people think of a self-aware person as an individual who enjoys the fruits of happiness. But a self-aware person doesn’t enjoy only fruits, but also the fruits of others’ happiness.
People do not like saying that… but people do like using the word to describe the people that they think they are. And… people are not all so self-aware that they think they have to call this out in the vernacular.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that people tend to like to be a little self-aware. Because people love to feel like they have control over their lives, they tend to be even more self-aware of how they feel. I am a self-aware person too, and I like to think of myself as a self-aware person. But I don’t think I am as self-aware as the majority of people.
When I have a self-awareness moment, I know this because I have experienced it. A few weeks ago, I was having a bad day, and, like every time I have had a bad day at work, I had a short introspective realization that I am not as self-aware as I thought I was. The realization came from a question I asked myself.
I realized that I have not only become self-aware, but that I have become so self-aware that I can’t be hurt by my own self-awareness.
I feel like some people don’t realize how self-aware they are. I have been accused of being self-aware because I have self-harmed myself and I am not self-aware. This is why I have become so self-aware. I may have a self-harmed moment, but, like many of you, I have a self-awareness moment. It’s often a combination of some of the other things that make us self-aware.
The self-awareness you feel isn’t something that can be controlled. It’s an emotion that can be triggered by all sorts of things, and it’s not something that’s easily dismissed. I have been involved in some self-abuse and self-harming incidents because I have been self-aware. If I had a choice, I’d rather not be self-aware. But, like a lot of things, it comes down to personal choice.
I think that all of these self-awareness moments are the result of self-awareness. But when I feel self-awareness, I can choose not to be aware of it. I can choose to ignore it. I can choose to have it be forgotten. I can choose to let it go. I can choose to not care about it.
I love this idea because it reminds me of the old saying “I’m not good enough just to be good.” I would love to say that I have learned to stop caring and just be me. But again, this is me. No one else can do that. I have to do it on my own. The only way I can do it is by being aware that I am not good enough. But that’s not enough. I have to do it on my own too.
November 16, 2022
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